The In Between

Updated: Jan 16

“There was fear that paralyzed me from becoming who I was. A grip that paralyzed me from allowing my authentic self to show through, and to use this as my basis for my relationships, rather than relationships based on the fearful and unhealed parts of myself. This has been me, growing my wings and pushing my way through.” Cristina Ruscica, Breathe Wide Open

Have you ever found yourself feeling as though you are in between – either something, someone, or some place? I will describe this as being a place that we find ourselves in, as one thing is ending and another beginning. However, the new beginning thing has not yet begun, so unbeknownst to us, leaving one to feel a sense of lingering. We leave some ”thing” behind, knowing we have to let go. Letting go is used in the sense of either the actual person, or letting go of ideas or beliefs that we realize are changing within us. Sometimes, we come to this point, where the things we used to feel were right, are no longer so. Yet, we find ourselves feeling lost as we don’t yet have another “thing” to replace our grip.

As new awareness expands within us, it changes the ways we show up in our friendships, romantic relationships, jobs, and even the ways we hold our ideas and beliefs. You see, our awareness is constantly changing. This happens simply because of this thing call life. We trek on our journeys, collecting experiences and new knowledge along our way. As we do so, we begin to understand things differently than we had before. Think of it this way, as children, we view the world as this huge wondrous place. We are full of curiosity and question all things around us. It is this questioning that helps us understand and interpret our environment. As a child, this fits with our level of understanding, cognition and so forth. But, as we become older, we no longer hold those same questions or curiosities, as we have come to understand things in a new light. Keep in mind, however, that the questions we asked as a child, served its purpose. Our behaviour then, matched with our level of understanding. We would not ask those same questions now as we now have the information about our environment and no longer need to seek it in asking another.

"We grow through life as we experience

it and take from it the things we need to expand us."

I relate the concept of being ‘in between’ to our relationships. Simply put, it is the time between moving away from something we used to fit into, and towards something else that has not quite taken form. It feels in between because it generates confusion, or displacement from the role we held within that relationship. I think about friendships I had that have now drifted away. At the time those friendships formed, both myself and the other was at a certain stage in life. At the time we came together, we matched. Whether it were similar ideas, a commonality, or experiencing something similar in life that brought us together. As life has its way with us always, growth happens and our thoughts and behaviours change alongside that growth. Either we change together similarly with the other person or we don’t. Neither is right and neither is wrong. We grow through life as we experience it and take from it the things we need to expand us. If one person grows in a different direction, or at a different rate, ideas are no longer simi